It's Wednesday, so it must be time for more asskicking...

Yes, my friends, it is that time again...that special, exciting time that I can let loose and free my inner bitch to run wild. This time, I'll let the customers alone. It's time to talk about a few of the people I work with that are in desperate need of an ass-kicking:

Rotten hostess-twat: Look, it's bad enough that you are obviously fucking evil. The fact that you are ugly as sin and refuse to crack a smile is bad enough, but I REALLY do not need to see you sucking face with your boyfriend from the kitchen when I turn a corner and unexpectedly run into the two of you dry-humping each other. Because of you, I may never be able to have sex, again. Oh, and the way you make sure that you seat me so that I'm fucked, have you gotten the clue yet that the bussers are in cahoots with me to foil your plans of shoving it up my ass every chance you get? Yep, sweetie, that's right....hard to fucking seat someone when the tables don't get cleared until I say so...and listening to you get bitched at by customers because they can't get seated just makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
Maybe next time you walk outside to hang all over kitchen-boy and see me on a smoke break, you'll freaking TELL me that you just triple-seated me, you rotten fucking twat.

Nazi-server-ho: I think that you have finally realized that the unholy light that you see in my eyes every time I see you is a clue that I'd love to rip out your throat and shit down your lung cavity. Here's another clue: You are NOT a fucking manager. You will never BE a fucking manager. Everyone that you work with hates you and thinks that you are pathetic. No one gives a fuck about the stupid shit you write on the whiteboard that you triumphantly proclaim are "inside jokes". I hate to break it to you...but YOU are the inside joke. Now, begone before I erase you like I do your stupid drivel on the whiteboard. (Ha, that really pisses you off, huh?)
Oh, one more piece of advice...if you ever make some comment about giving me an employee handbook again, I vow that I will shove it up your ass sideways. Smiling. While I do it.

Waiting...

Some of you are aware that I've taken a part-time job waiting tables at a pretty well-known chain restaurant. I thought it was truly going to suck big-time, but the fact of the matter is that I'm having a helluva good time. I work with a kick-ass group of people...and the company isn't that bad, either. But, I would not be your bitch goddess unless I had some ass-kicking to do. So, without further ado:


1) I swear to all that is holy and almighty that if one more cheap motherfucker comes in and asks for "just a glass of water with lemon", I'm going to cram it down their fucking throat.
Let me give you a clue, fucknut....you are drinking CITY NASTY-ASS fucking water, m'kay? This is the rotten drivel that even the ghetto rats won't consume. So, go ahead, you cheap fuck....suck ir down, I hope you choke on the lemon, you ignorant inbred asshole.

Um, here's another clue...this chain has a famous "all you can eat" thing that people normally get for lunch. Here's the catch, the lazy, fat fucks order this and say to me, "I'm gonna make it easy and get..."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay, let's think about this. If I am running my simple ass off to get you unlimited fucking refills, it is NOT an EASY thing. As a result, I expect you to fairly compensate me for the time I've spent running around to fulfill your every fucking need. Don't go by the cheap ass bill because you got the special with fucking city water. PAY FOR ME RUNNING MY ASS OFF, YOU CHEAP FUCK!

I need to give the "Foot up the ass" award to the stupid fucking Flyer's fan, his ugly ass wife and their inbred kid I waited on today. First, these stupid morons order.......wait for it..............................
YES, city fucking water! For their snot-nosed kid, too. I give the brat a kiddie cup that is charged 75 cents for and goes with the kid's meal. Like I'm going to hand your hyper-active, inbred retard kid a large glass object with fluid in it. NO!
Then, you backwards, cheap fucks order two entrees and say, "we'll share with the kid".
Uh...okay. (You skinflint fucks.)
So, you share the salad with your mongrel child and then have the fucking nerve to give me shit about charging 75 cents for the kiddie cup? How bout I slam your simple ass with the $4 for the fucking salad?
THEN, you have the fucking nerve to bitch that your inbred child needs mints and you leave me $2 on a $30 bill.

Fuck you, you rotten cocksucker. No wonder you are part of those losing inbred fucks that cheer for the Flyers. You have no class and I hope you slide under a fucking bus.