Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Oh, HELL YEAH! That is the Ass-whooping alarm and it means that it is time to whoop that ass! Merry Christmas to everyone and I hope y'all were treated nicely by that fat fucker in red. Now let's get to some butt kicking:
The general motoring public: What in the living FUCK is wrong with some of you? Do you not comprehend the fact that turn signals have not been optional equipment since modern times? I swear, the next tool that gets in front of me and suddenly jams on the brakes for a turn without a signal, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SHOVE THE TURN SIGNAL INDICATOR UP YOUR ASS!!!!! That way, you'll HAVE to signal, even when you fart, you ignorant rat bastards!
Oh, and you asshole minivan drivers...yeah, you know who the hell you are....you people are some of the most obnoxious freaking non-driving asswipes known to mankind. One of these days, I'm going to pile-drive one of you rotten pricks right into a bridge abutment and giggle my ass off as I drive away. Remove your pinhead from out of your ass and fucking MOVE out of the way!
People with hats: you stupid motherfuckers are the WORST drivers I've ever had the displeasure of getting behind. Seriously, do you feel like your head has been inserted into your anal orifice the moment you put that hat on and get behind the wheel? You must, because you certainly drive like it. Don't believe me? Try it...seriously, the next time you get behind someone that is driving like it is a special olympic event, take a close look...I guarantee that the moron has a hat on.
Fat teenage bitches at McDonald's: Look, it's Christmas break and it's freaking cold outside. I've been locked up with the kid for too long. Now, when I decide to take my child to McDonalds so he can play on the inside jungle gym to get rid of his pent-up energy, I shouldn't have to worry about him getting crushed by a bunch of fat-assed teenagers on the kiddie gym. C'mon, you can barely fit your huge ass through the slide. Just watching you, I discovered that I now know where those ridiculous women that try to squeeze their humongous, flabby gunts into lycra and think they look sexy come from...there is no doubt in my mind that they, too, were obnoxious teenagers with no concept of HOW FUCKING BIG they had become. Shit, I'd attempt to give you an ass kicking but I'd be afraid that I'd never see my foot, again. So, take a look in the mirror, get a grip on reality....and get the FUCK off the kiddie gym. (PS-stay away from lycra.)
Oh, HELL YEAH! That is the Ass-whooping alarm and it means that it is time to whoop that ass! Merry Christmas to everyone and I hope y'all were treated nicely by that fat fucker in red. Now let's get to some butt kicking:
The general motoring public: What in the living FUCK is wrong with some of you? Do you not comprehend the fact that turn signals have not been optional equipment since modern times? I swear, the next tool that gets in front of me and suddenly jams on the brakes for a turn without a signal, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SHOVE THE TURN SIGNAL INDICATOR UP YOUR ASS!!!!! That way, you'll HAVE to signal, even when you fart, you ignorant rat bastards!
Oh, and you asshole minivan drivers...yeah, you know who the hell you are....you people are some of the most obnoxious freaking non-driving asswipes known to mankind. One of these days, I'm going to pile-drive one of you rotten pricks right into a bridge abutment and giggle my ass off as I drive away. Remove your pinhead from out of your ass and fucking MOVE out of the way!
People with hats: you stupid motherfuckers are the WORST drivers I've ever had the displeasure of getting behind. Seriously, do you feel like your head has been inserted into your anal orifice the moment you put that hat on and get behind the wheel? You must, because you certainly drive like it. Don't believe me? Try it...seriously, the next time you get behind someone that is driving like it is a special olympic event, take a close look...I guarantee that the moron has a hat on.
Fat teenage bitches at McDonald's: Look, it's Christmas break and it's freaking cold outside. I've been locked up with the kid for too long. Now, when I decide to take my child to McDonalds so he can play on the inside jungle gym to get rid of his pent-up energy, I shouldn't have to worry about him getting crushed by a bunch of fat-assed teenagers on the kiddie gym. C'mon, you can barely fit your huge ass through the slide. Just watching you, I discovered that I now know where those ridiculous women that try to squeeze their humongous, flabby gunts into lycra and think they look sexy come from...there is no doubt in my mind that they, too, were obnoxious teenagers with no concept of HOW FUCKING BIG they had become. Shit, I'd attempt to give you an ass kicking but I'd be afraid that I'd never see my foot, again. So, take a look in the mirror, get a grip on reality....and get the FUCK off the kiddie gym. (PS-stay away from lycra.)
posted by Traffic Goddess at 3:43 PM
5 Comments:
I'm crying while reading this from laughing so hard. I feel your pain, Wendy. Apparently, these people you share so much love for, have relatives in Maine.
I rarely use my horn. I'm one of those bitches that screams cuss words and waves my hands at the idiots on the road, but through the holiday season, my horn has been getting more use than a whore's mouth. Good times.
TG,
I swear you could give Dennis Leary a run for his money with these
Damn woman!!!!! I sense anger! You blew my rant outta the water this week! Focus power...that's it...breathe...breathe....good girl.
I understand totally how you feel about those who don't use turn signals. You need to come to Florida and give everybody who dones't use their turnsignals what for!
Wendy, dear, tell us how you really feel. :-)
Don't you just wish you can hook up a grenade launcher on the front of your vehicle and just blow these idiots off the road?
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